Broken Dreams
by T.H.W
Summary: AMERICAN OUTLAWS!!!! A young lady has had a rough life. Abuse clouds her vision, her father rules her world. But can that change with a little help?
1. Default Chapter

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Baby's black balloon makes her fly. I almost fell into that hole in your life.  
And you're not thinking about tomorrow,  
'Cause you were the same as me,  
But on your knees.  
  
~ Goo Goo Dolls, Black Balloon  
  
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"I never mixed with outlaws. Never knew outlaws until they found me. In one moment, my life changed because of a rag-tag gang of men called the James-Younger gang, and their leader who would forever be known to history as Jesse James"   
~From the diary of Virginia Craig  
  
  
  
She squinted at the bruise under her eye.   
  
  
Easy to hide. But not easy to forget.   
  
  
She thought as her fingers tenderly touched the swelling spot.Ginny knew that a little powder could hide the bruise, but it was her pride that was hurt more than the eye.   
  
  
I'm not cut out for this job. I'm only sixteen! Not old enough to even be courted let alone manage a saloon! All that and at the same time be used as a punching bag by my own father! But of course, if MAMA hadn't taken it into her head that she had to GIVE UP!!   
  
  
Ginny's brain screamed, the insides of her skull pounding angrily. She didn't think that life could be so hard. Since her mother had taken ill with what the doctor had called pneumonia, Ginny hadn't had an easy life since. Her father had thrown himself into the saloon heart and soul when Mattie Craig had taken ill with the fatal disease, but when she died, Mark Craig fell into the pit of alcohol and hadn't climbed out since.  
  
Ginny patted the powder on her face till she was sure that everything was hidden then sat back and sighed. It wasn't only alcohol that her father had gotten himself into. It was the anger that he couldn't control. Anger with Mattie, her death, his debts, it all built up into those large fists of his and took themselves out on Ginny. She knew why, but it still didn't stop her resentment. It was now because of HIM that it was SHE manning the saloon, not him. It was SHE who was forced to listen to the drunken minds of the men who sauntered in and demanded drinks, all the while poisoning their minds as they drank. And as they drank they spoke to her in honey-sweet tones as she rolled her eyes and brushed them off. There were few who were actually civil. VERY few. It was actually very rare to have someone call her "Ma'am" nowadays.  
  
She groaned at the sound of her father's bellowing from the saloon below, then stood slowly, walking to the door. She stopped and looked around her room. It was the only real thing she could call hers now. She stepped out, locking the door firmly and placing the keys in her pocket. As she walked down the stairs the cheery chords of the piano wafted into her ears. When she entered the establishment, the piano player turned around and gave her a winning smile. Jake was a steadfast person, one she could surely count on. At eighteen, the only thing he had to his name was the clothes on his back and his talent. Her mother had given him the job, convinced that he would be the perfect edition to the saloon. But Ginny knew the real reason why. She knew her mother had hired him for his talent, but it was also because she knew he had nothing at all. She didn't want him to end up like others. Others had gone crazy. Others had killed themselves. Others, had become outlaws. Her mother didn't want that.  
  
"Heya Ginny! Listen I'm comin' back this evenin'. You gonna be here?" Ginny looked up and smiled at the girl sitting in front of her. Prissy's brightly painted face stuck out in the bar like a sore thumb, but she didn't care. Ginny frankly didn't mind her friend's profession either. She was used to it. She knew that Prissy was what the men called, a "paid lady". Ginny didn't sugar-coat her friend's profession. She knew she was a prostitute, there was no way to sugar-coat that. If she had been the Ginny she was before her mother's illness, never in a million years would she have made friends with Prissy. Her mother would have slapped her across the face if she had been alive. The fact was there was no way for Ginny to avoid prostitutes. After things began to get run down in the saloon, they seemed to come by the barrel-full. But the truth of the matter was, Prissy was the only friend Ginny had.  
  
"Of course I'll be here Pris. I ain't got nowhere else to go." Ginny said with a smile. Prissy smiled and gave a loud laugh. "Yer such a tease Gin. Well listen, have ya heard about whats been goin' on?" Prissy asked, leaning closer to the bar. Ginny shook her head and frowned. "Well, the word 'round town is that Jesse James is headin' in this direction." She said excitedly. Ginny shrugged. "So? Whats Jesse James got to do with me? He's no concern of mine." Ginny said, turning away. Prissy squealed and grabbed Ginny's dress. "He might come here! Him and his gang! Wouldn't that be excitin'? Real outlaws! Here! In your saloon! Yer so lucky!" Prissy said enviously. Ginny tossed her blonde curls in disdain. "What does it matter Pris? If you have yer way you'll be gettin' the better part of them anyway." Ginny said meaningfully.   
  
Prissy smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Probably. But still. How exciting! They've robbed so many banks and they've never been caught. Oh how wonderful! An' from the looks of the outlaw posters I'd say that they're all mighty handsome!" Prissy said meaningfully. Ginny rolled her eyes. "Pris, you know that them posters never are right! They probably just exaggerated as usual." Prissy put her hands on her hips. "Have you even seen the posters?" She asked demandingly. "Yes I've seen 'em. They're all over town Pris. No way I cain't see 'em." Ginny replied. Suddenly Prissy turned her head to an impatient young man standing in the doorway. "I gotta go Gin. If they come in before I get back, please make 'em wait!" Prissy whispered before rushing off. Ginny watched her as she exited the establishment with a sigh. "If I have my way I'll make sure they leave as soon as you walk in the door." She muttered under her breath.  
  
Suddenly a loud ouburst brought Ginny out of her daydreaming. She looked over in the general direction of the sound and groaned. It was her father and his friends. One of the men was standing up and he began to point in Ginny's direction. "So Mark, you love gin so much that you name yer girl after it? That true?" The man asked, his voice slurred and his motions wobbly. Mark Craig turned to look at his daughter standing alone at the bar and nodded, laughing. "That's true! Ain't she a beauty? Jest like gin!" The whole saloon burst out laughing. Ginny's face turned red as she began to wipe up the bar fiercely. "I was named Virginia after my grandmother, not a stupid fool drink." She muttered under her breath, her face getting redder and redder, much to the appreciation of the rest of the bar.  
  
That evening, Prissy returned before there were any sign of the anticipated outlaws. She sighed and sat down at the bar. "Get me a drink Ginny. I need it bad." She said wearily. Ginny nodded and handed her whiskey to her. Prissy gulped it down and set the tumbler down weakly. "Any sign of 'em?" She asked hopefully. Ginny shook her head as she refilled the girl's glass. "You know Pris, there's a good chance that they won't even come. I mean, you just thought on a whim they might come. They might pass us over." Ginny pointed out slowly. Prissy shook her head violently. "They jest robbed the bank in the town ten miles away from us this afternoon. They're gonna need a place to stay an' a place to drink. Yer so lucky that this saloon is a hotel too." Prissy groaned. "Seems I'm lucky in a lotta things I don't wanna be lucky IN." Ginny muttered.  
  
"I kin name 'em all off. The Jameses an' Youngers anyway. I don't much care 'bout the others. Of the Jameses there's Frank an' James. Both very handsome. Frank's more polished than Jesse. Jesse's more of the rough lookin' type. Really handsome. Then there's the Youngers. They're the James' cousins ya know. There's Cole and then Bob, and the youngest Jim. But he's only a baby." She giggled. "If he's only a baby why's he ridin' with these outlaws?" Ginny asked sarcastically. "Because he's a Younger I guess. He's cute though. Although he's too young fer me." Prissy said nonchalantly. Ginny threw her hands in the air. "Prissy, yer only eighteen! He's probably only a year or so younger than you!" She pointed out. Prissy played with a golden curl. "Yeah, but he's still too young fer me. I'd like Cole or Jesse more." She said hopefully. As Prissy spoke, Ginny began to rub spilled whiskey off the counter with an unexplained vigor, her jaw set angrily.   
  
She shook her head as she did so and her head snapped to attention when Prissy gasped out loud. "It's them! It's them!" She whispered excitedly, slipping off her stool and smoothing her dress. Ginny eyed her friend then looked at the gang standing in the doorway. Her blue eyes ran across them, then turned back to her work. She knew what they'd be coming for. " 'Scuse me Miss? Can I bother ya for a little bit of whiskey?" Ginny frowned at the sound of the pleasant voice and the utter politeness that it implied. She turned around and found herself looking at Jesse James. When her heart flew into her mouth, she slapped herself inwardly.   
  
  
He's jest Jesse James. He ain't gonna hurt you. He jest wants whiskey thats all. But God, he's imposing.   
  
  
She thought as she gave a weak smile. He smiled back, his dark brown eyes twinkling. "Here you go Mister James." Jesse smiled at her recognition. "Lets jest keep that between you an' me." He said with a smile. She leaned closer and whispered, "Frankly Mister James, I don't think that's possible." She said, eyeing Prissy. Jesse turned in her direction and saw with whom the young girl was flirting with. She was flirting shamelessly with Cole Younger. Jesse frowned and turned back, eyeing Ginny's intense gaze. "Friend of yours?" He asked. Her blue eyes flitted to his face momentarily and glimpsed the concern in them before she looked away. "Yeah. But don't worry 'bout it. After all, she's jest doin' her job." She said, turning away. Jesse eyed her back, then stood up joining the rest of the gang with their gambling.  
  
Ginny observed the gang out of the corner of her eye for the rest of the evening. It was just her luck that her father was gone, at another saloon with friends. She was alone. In a way that was good, and in another way bad. If the gang should get it into their heads to start a brawl, things would get out of hand fast. But they seemed to be peaceable enough. It hadn't taken long before Cole slung Prissy over his shoulder and rushed into the next room as she laughed. Ginny rolled her eyes and averted them from the two. Jesse sat intently off to the side while the rest of the gang gambled, prostitutes hanging on a few of their arms.   
  
After a while Jesse approached the bar again. "Can I have another please?" He asked, his fingers tapping noiselessly on the bar. Ginny smiled and nodded. As Jesse took the whiskey and Ginny walked away, she saw a member of the gang approach Jesse. In a glance, she knew he was one of the outlaws, but she couldn't remember which one. She thought hard to recall the names on the Wanted Posters.   
  
  
Jesse, Frank, Cole, Bob, what's his name?  
  
  
She thought. But then she remembered Prissy's words.   
  
  
There's Cole and then Bob, and the youngest Jim. But he's only a baby.   
  
Ginny nodded to herself. He eyed Jesse, who furrowed his forehead as he saw the whiskey glass in the boy's hands. "Drinkin' whiskey Jim? You're too young to be drinkin' whiskey." Jesse warned, taking another swig of his own drink. Jim raised his hand in defense. "Hey. Not too young to kill a man, NOT too young to drink whiskey. 'Scuse me? Can I have a whiskey?" Ginny turned around to face the outlaws. She knew it was Jim who had spoken, for she saw the somewhat surprised look in Jesse's eyes as he looked in her direction.  
  
Another bartender standing on the other end of the bar eyed her. She shook her head at his concern and uncorked the whiskey bottle. Ginny's eyes twinkled at Jesse's surprise as she poured the whiskey. Jim smiled and took it. Ginny walked away, but she kept her eyes on him. Jim held the whiskey in his hand for a moment, swishing it around, his eyes glued to it. Then he took a deep breath and gulped it down his throat. Ginny had to turn and hide her face as Jim's face turned bright red, then pale as he pretended to enjoy it. He smiled wanly at Jesse, who smiled back. "You want another?" Ginny asked, fully knowing what his answer would be. Jim eyed her, the vivacity in his green eyes dampened because of his attempt to keep down the nausea that would come all too soon. But that didn't stop his bravado. He leaned up casually against the bar and waved his hand. "I don't think so. I think that'll be all for now." Ginny suppressed as smile and nodded, turning away.  
  
She caught bits and pieces of the conversation that Jim had with Jesse. Eventually she heard him say, "Me? Why I was just about to go turn on that Younger charm." She smiled and shook her head.   
  
  
Looks like that outlaw business went to his head. She thought.   
  
  
But she immediately changed her opinion when she heard him deny that he was actually going to do that. She was further convinced that the boy was not stuck up when she heard him complain to Jesse about being considered a baby, just the baby brother who was too little to do anything. Ginny looked down intently at the bar, pretending she wasn't hearing the conversation when she really was. But as she turned around to offer Jesse more whiskey, Jim suddenly turned pale and whispered, "Tell ya what. I don't drink good neither. I'm gonna, go throw up." He said as he rushed out the saloon doors. Jesse nodded and turned to him as he began to run. "Hurry!" He called.   
  
He turned back around to face Ginny. "He alright?" Ginny asked as she poured another whiskey into the outlaw's cup. Jesse waved his hand. "Yeah. He's fine. Jest a little tired." He said, taking hold of the drink. "That's not it at all if you don't mind my saying so Mister James. Unless my eyes deceive me, he's never drunk whiskey before." She said with a twinkle in her eye. Jesse eyed her and smiled. "Well ain't you intuitive for a bartender?" He said. "I don't intend to be a bartender my entire life you know. I intend to get outta here one way or another. Just as soon as my old man dies." She muttered. Jesse raised his eyebrows. "How's that?" He asked. Ginny shrugged and leaned up against the bar. "Basically I'm runnin' this place. I'm not jest bartender you know. I'm everything. My Pa's just a little too drunk so he cain't handle it. So if he was dead, I could get rid of this place and start over." She explained.   
  
"You want me to do you that favor? I could." Jesse asked. Ginny laughed until she saw the seriousness in Jesse's eyes. She sobered. "No. I don't want you too. I might hate him, but he's still my Pa." Ginny said slowly. Jesse nodded as he looked at her. "Yer mighty smart. Alot smarter than most kids yer age." He said. Ginny shrugged as she began to boil a pot of coffee. Jesse eyed her. "Who's that for? Never heard of a saloon serving coffee." He said with a smile. "Usually they don't. I'm doin' you a favor. You don't want one of your outlaws stuck with a huge headache do you?" She asked as she walked out from behind the bar. She stopped a moment as she saw Prissy standing in the back doorway kissing Cole gently, then she shook her head, walking out the door.  
  
Jim was there, his head in his hands, sitting on the front step. "Jim Younger?" She called out. Jim's head shot up, his hand flying to his belt towards his pistol before he saw her. Then he dropped his hands. "Sorry 'bout that." He muttered, his eyes turning away from her. "I thought you might want somethin' other than whiskey." She said quietly setting the coffee cup on the step. Jim looked at the coffee cup, then looked up at her expectantly. "Well?" He said. "Well what?" Ginny asked. "Aincha gonna say how cute it is that I cain't even drink like the rest of the gang? That I hafta go and throw up my insides out here instead of keepin' it down? Go ahead. I've gotten that enough." He muttered.   
  
Ginny smiled and sat down on the step, moving her skirts out of the way. "No I ain't gonna say that. Why would I? It ain't funny. You shoulda seen me the first time I drank whiskey." She chuckled. Jim turned to look at her. "You drank whiskey?" He asked. She smiled. "Sure did. My Pa wanted me to and," Ginny's voice drifted off as she recalled the incident. Instinctively, her fingers covered the long, thin, scar on her arm, despite the fact that her sleeve covered it already. "Well I threw up practically all night! It was awful! I was in the same position as you." She said, brightening. For the first time, Jim smiled. "That's awful. I've only thrown up once so far." He said. "You might do more, but of course you did only have one drink." She said thoughtfully. Suddenly Jim laughed. "Look at us. Not even introduced an' already you're bringin' me coffee and we're talkin' about when we threw up our whiskey." He laughed loudly and Ginny joined in.   
  
As Ginny laughed, she clutched her stomach and with a gasp, she stopped as abruptly as she began. Jim stopped, eyeing her with concern. "What?" He asked her. Ginny shook her head, her hands flying to her sides.   
  
I've gotta git to the doctor tomorrow. I cain't take this anymore.   
  
She thought, knowing that under her dress was a bandage wrapped around her waist from the knife wound she had received a week ago.   
  
  
I bet I've received more wounds than all the Jameses an' Youngers put together.   
  
  
She thought angrily. "I'm alright." She reassured him. "You sure?" He asked, his eyes betraying his concern. When she nodded, he smiled and put out his hand. "Jim Younger." She took his hand and shook it, a small smile on her face. "Virginia Craig. Ginny." She said tentatively. Jim smiled and squeezed her hand before letting it go. "Nice to meet you. Thanks for the coffee by the way." He said. As he spoke, his face became violently pale and he held up a finger in her direction. She smiled and nodded, looking away as he vomitted once more.   
  
When he sat up, his face was pale and sweaty. Ginny shook her head and tossed him a towl as she stood up. "Here. Wipe your face off. You look like you just ran a race." She said as she walked inside the saloon. She stepped behind the counter and eyed Jesse, who was deep in a flirtatious conversation with one of the women. She shook her head and as she took an empty glass lying on the counter, a large hand wrapped around her fingers, preventing her from taking it. She frowned and looked up into the face of who she knew to be Cole Younger. "Can I have a little more?" He asked, flashing her a winning smile. Ginny eyed Prissy, who was sitting a little ways away, watching Cole with dazzled eyes. Ginny shrugged, taking the cup and filling it. He grinned and tipped his hat.   
  
Finally Jesse turned to her and placed some money on the bar. "We're gonna need a place to stay. If you don't mind putting up a few outlaws that is." He said, flashing her a radiant smile Ginny knew was his way of pleading. His way of getting on his knees and begging without actually doing it. He thought he could just make her melt with that smile and make her say yes did he? He had another thing coming. But Ginny stopped herself as she started to answer, changing her mind at the last minute. "Fine. But don't think it was because of that smile of yours. For all I care you can wipe that smile off your face and ask me straight forward Jesse James." Ginny said, placing an empty glass in some water. Jesse smiled and shook his head, holding out money in his hands. "May I please have some rooms?" Ginny smiled and waved her hand. "Go get your gang and I'll see about it." She said, pocketing the money.   
  
In little time the entire gang was in front of her and as she stepped out into the adjoining hotel, she stopped, a distant sound making its way to her ears. She turned around to face Jesse quickly, her face grim. "What's the name of that guy who's trackin' ya?" She asked quickly. Confusion registered on Jesse's face for a moment but he answered her. "Pinkerton." Ginny's blue eyes flashed towards the door and began to push Jesse in through the door. "What the hell are you doin' girl?" Cole asked as she shoved him and the others into the doorway and into a large closet. "You stay there! You stay until I come for you!" She said quickly before she slammed the door on the rest of the gang and locked it. There were cries of outrage before she heard Jesse's voice firmly invoking them to be quiet. Ginny quickly re-entered the bar and her eyes searched for a place to hide the keys. Finally she stuck them in the liquor cabinet near the bottom of the counter. Jake looked at her curiously as he continued to play the cheery tune on the piano.   
Ginny shook her head and cleared her throat. "Listen up! If any of ya's blabs to my Pa that Jesse James and his gang was here tonight, I'll get them to blow all of your heads off!" She yelled, her voice trembling somewhat as the shouts from outside came closer and closer. The men and women in the bar eyed her with a frightened expression and turned back to what they were doing. Prissy looked at her with wild eyes as Ginny's father stumbled into the bar, a few other men following him. "Gin, you won't believe who I met tonight. My old friend, the one who's been throwin' people out of their homes and listen to this, he's lookin' fer Jesse James now! Ain't that somethin' for Pinkerton? He thought he'd come here. He'll give us fifty dollars if we hand him over. He, uh, hasn't come by any chance has he?" Ginny's father eyed her with his wild, drunken eyes, eyes that bored into her, daring her to lie to him. "He ain't been in here tonight. The rest of the saloon can swear to that." She said quickly. Her father whirled around and looked at them. They stared solemnly back at him. "Jesse James been here tonight?" He asked. The group eyed him and collectively shook their heads and murmured in the negative.  
  
Ginny's father swore as he turned around again. "I'm goin' to bed Gin. You better not be lyin' to me." He hissed under his breath as he entered the hotel and clomped up the stairs to his room. Ginny and the entire room breathed a collective sigh of relief. Ginny grabbed the keys from the cabinet and looked around for Prissy to tell her that the gang was safe. She wasn't there. Ginny shook her head and rushed to the closet. When she opened it, she was greeted with the sober faces of the outlaws. She stared at them, temporarily wondering if she had done the right thing, wondering if she would be repaid for her kindness in bullets. Jesse stepped out of the closet, taking a step near her. Ginny quickly took a step backwards, her hand feeling for the door. All of a sudden, the men had changed from fun-loving men, to stern outlaws who meant business with anyone who messed with them.   
  
Ginny's mind began to spin as she felt the weakness flow into her knees. Jesse grabbed her arms as she started to collapse, her eyes wide open and afraid. "Don't you faint. You need to show us where our rooms are." Jesse said teasingly. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief as the rest of the outlaws piled out of the closet. "Dang! I don't think I've ever seen a smaller closet! I thought I was a goner." Ginny looked at the man with a frown. She didn't recognize him. Apparently he saw her hesitation as he spoke up. "You know who I am right? Bob Younger? I'm on the reward posters too." He hinted. Ginny shook her head. "The Bob Younger on the posters doesn't look anything like you do." She said. Bob's face registered shock as he turned to look at the rest of the gang.   
  
"C'mon. I'll take you to your room. You better jest have one, in case something happens. That way you'll all be together and you can all get out together. Fortunately for you boys, the biggest room is empty." Ginny babbled, trying to fill the silence. She walked up to the room and unlocked it. The outlaws piled into the room, but only Jesse remained behind. "Thank you for what you did back there. I must admit I thought you were wanting to get that fifty dollars yourself when you locked us in that closet." He said with a small smile. Ginny returned the smile and shrugged. "I jest did what I thought was right. I knew what would happen if he came home and found you boys here." Ginny said shyly. Jesse nodded. "I'd be pleased if I could know your name lady." He said. Ginny smiled and cast her eyes down demurely. "Virginia Craig. But I go by Ginny." Jesse's hand reached out and took her hand in his, patting it gently. "Thank you. It's an honor to meet such a brave lady." He said sincerely.  
  
Ginny withdrew her hand and laughed. "Please Mister James. I'm anything but brave. In fact I'm everything but." She said, walking away. She winced as she bent down to retrieve a piece of broken glass in the hallway. Inwardly she groaned.   
  
  
I cain't go back to the Doc. He'd ask what was the matter and I'd hafta make up something. How can you make up a story about getting cut in the stomach?   
  
  
Ginny asked herself as she re-entered the bar. How could she explain that it was her father inflicting the wounds? She couldn't. He was still her father.   
  
  
But the reason was absurd Ginny! You have to tell someone why he did such a horrible thing to you!   
  
She screamed at herself inwardly.She placed her hands on her head as she recalled the incident. Her father wanted her to marry. He wanted her to marry on of the regulars to the saloon. He might have been a drunkard but he was incredibly wealthy. It was the wealth that her father cared about, the wealth that he wanted. He could have cared less whether or not she liked him. He had flown out of control when she had given her answer. The knife had been there so she could cut up the meat for dinner. It was cleaned, polished, deadly. And it was within reach. After the deed was done, her father had dropped the knife, running out of the room as she lay on the floor, gasping and bleeding. She had wrapped the wound herself. She couldn't get help this time.   
  
The doors to the saloon swung open and she barely glanced at those who entered. But when one of them approached the counter, she took her hands off of her head and looked up. The man was tall, his black beard full and his eyes reminding her of unbending steel. "Excuse me Miss. Are you Virginia Craig?" He asked politely. Ginny nodded suspiciously, her gaze fixed on him. "Well I have reason to believe, an eyewitness actually, that told me that you are harboring the James-Younger gang. That's a felony Miss, to hide the wanted." He said seriously. Ginny's mouth dropped open and as she did, a man jumped behind the counter, grabbing her arms and twisting them around her fiercely. The man leaned closer. "Now, won't you tell us where they are? And then if you do, we'll let you go." He said reassuringly.  
  
Ginny wrestled in the man's grasp, her eyes narrowing. "I know who you are! You're Pinkerton! And I don't know anything about Jesse James!" She yelled. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jake lunge for the man, but he was smacked to the ground by another man, who stepped in just in time. "I think that you are just afraid that he'll hurt you if you tell. Don't worry, we'll lock him up so that he never escapes and hurts anyone ever again." He said gently. "He ain't never hurt anyone yet Pinkerton! An' thats not it! You cain't do this to me!" She yelled angrily. Pinkerton shook his head and turned to the men. "If you aren't hiding anything then you won't be adverse to me searching your establishment." He said coldly, nodding to his men. Ginny stopped wriggling for a moment as she watched the men turn over tables and toss bottles to the floor in their search. Everything was being ruined. In a sudden burst of energy, she freed her hand from the man who held it and smacked him hard.  
  
The instant he let go, Ginny rushed out the door and into the hotel, locking it firmly behind her. She ran up the stairs, stumbling and falling occasionally. In fact she was on the floor when she slammed open the room where the outlaws were staying. Instantly bullets rang out around her and she dropped to the floor. Strong hands grasped her arm and jerked her upwards. Ginny opened her eyes tentatively to look into the face of Cole Younger. "What the," He started angrily. Ginny took advantage of his surprise as the door downstairs began to be banged upon loudly, twisting out of his grasp and running into the room. By this time a lamp was lit and the outlaws were on their feet.   
  
Ginny ignored the men's lack of shirts in her distress as she panted, "Pinkerton's here. You've gotta get out now!" She said, trying to regain her composure. Jesse looked at Frank who began to walk towards the door. Ginny grasped his arm. "You cain't go out that way. They've already got it blocked off." She said urgently. "Then where the hell do we go?" Cole burst out. Ginny glanced at him. "Mind your language. You'll have to go out the window." She said pointing in the window's direction. Jesse smiled at her admonishing and edged towards it, looking out. "Yeah, but where to after that?" Jesse asked, eyeing the high rooftop and the rain that suddenly began to pour down. "And we should have a plan. In case you have one already." Jim said, walking hastily to stand by Cole and Jesse.   
  
Ginny turned to the doorway as she listened to the door downstairs slowly being broken to pieces. She surprised them all by throwing the window fully open, hiking up her skirts and straddling the window frame, her body becoming soaked with the pouring rain, her slight frame illuminated by the lightning that raged. "I'll show you. Follow me." She said, ducking out the window. The outlaws hesitated for only a moment before following them. They stood on the roof in the rain till the Jim exited. He carefully turned around so as not to lose his balance and closed the window securely. "Good idea Jim." Jesse whispered approvingly. Jim nodded his thanks and looked to Ginny. The rest of them did the same. She listened for a moment before tiptoeing across the roof. "Follow me." The outlaws followed her, not once losing their footing, although Bob nearly fell from the roof, frightening the entire gang as his leg dangled perilously over the edge of the front porch. Cole and Frank quickly knelt as carefully as possible and pulled the frightened Bob back onto the roof. Finally the group reached a trellis at the back of the house that they climbed down.   
  
When they were all safely on the ground, Ginny rushed at full speed towards the stables, the outlaws following her, their feet sloshing through the mud. Jim suddenly stopped and whistled. The group stopped and turned. Jim rushed over to them, his face aglow. "I've got a great idea." He whispered. The group listened to his idea, excitement growing on their faces as they listened. "Think it'll work?" Cole asked. "I think it will. We've jest gotta buy us a little more time." Jesse said, eyeing Ginny. "Don't even say it. I know what you want." She said with resolve, walking back towards the saloon. Jim tipped his hat at the rest of the group. "It'll work. I know it will." He whispered as he ran through the mud to catch up with her. Cole grinned at Jesse and they rushed off to prepare the rest of the plan.  
  
Pinkerton walked angrily back down the stairs of the hotel. All he had found was the girl's father sleeping soundly in his room. Nothing else. Suddenly he heard a piercing scream resound from the front of the saloon. He and his men rushed out into the pouring rain. They saw a drenched Jim Younger standing close to Ginny, his arm wrapped around her waist, the other arm holding her arm in a tight hold. Ginny's face was pale and panicked and as she saw the men, she screamed again. "Please help me! He's gonna hurt me and take me away! I don't want to go! Don't let him!" Jim looked up at them, holding her closely to him. Pinkerton's eyes widened and he took a step forward. "Don't do it Pinkerton! I'll blow her head off! You know I will!" Jim said warningly, his hand reaching for his gun. Pinkerton took a step backwards. "We'll negotiate. Let the girl go and I'll give you an hour head start." He said reasonably.  
  
Jim seemed to think it over for a moment before drawing the pistol and putting it to Ginny's head, his grip on her growing tighter. "Three hours Pinkerton!" He yelled. Pinkerton grew pale, then red as his anger mounted. "You better say yes Pinkerton! Otherwise I'll do what I say I'll do!" Jim yelled. Pinkerton shook his head. "I can't give you three hours. But what I can give you is a warrant for your arrest." Pinkerton yelled, whistling loudly. Jim grinned, then quickly suppressed it as Pinkerton looked back at him. Ginny eyed Jim. "How did you know he'd call extra men?" She whispered. "I just did. He wouldn't come here with so little protection. After all, he needs men to keep him safe and men to get us." Jim whispered, the smile growing on his face.   
  
"You sure Jesse and the others will be set by the time they're ready?" Ginny whispered again. Jim nodded and looked down at her. "Sure do. They'll be ready." Ginny nodded then looked down at his arm that was tight around her waist. She grinned and whispered. "You know Jim Younger, if you wanted to hold me you coulda just said so." She whispered. Jim blushed and looked away. "I would have, but you would have said no." He said jokingly. "How do you know?" Ginny whispered back. "Because no one trusts an outlaw." Jim whispered as Pinkerton looked at him, smiling deviously. Jim cocked his head as he heard the low whistle from the roof. Jim looked down at her. "It's time. The minute it starts you run for cover and stay there till it's over." Jim whispered, loosening his grip on her gradually.  
  
All of a sudden, a figure Ginny recognized as Bob, dropped halfway down from the roof, shooting at Pinkerton and his men. Before they could react, Frank had already pulled him up by his legs. Jim whooped and let Ginny go as the shooting began. Pinkerton's men were dropping everywhere as they searched for the outlaws' hiding spot. But the outlaws, scurrying about the roof, kept their hiding place secure. It was actually a rather humorous scene, the bullets flying and hitting their targets head on, looking like they were raining down from the sky. Finally the men Pinkerton brought with him were all down. Ginny looked up from her hiding place behind the watering trough and saw Cole riding on his horse, leading the others' horses behind him. He was whooping and yelling excitedly like an Indian as the others jumped down from the roof and rushed their horses. Pinkerton stood alone on the porch, watching them in astonishment as they rode off into the night.   
  
Ginny stood from her hiding place, her hair drenched, the rain droplets pouring down her face and watched them, curiously, her heart aching.   
  
  
They didn't even say thank you. Or goodbye. She thought.   
  
  
But of course they're outlaws. They aren't supposed to have manners.   
  
  
Her brain contradicted. Pinkerton eyed her, his face still echoeing his astonishment, then jumped on his horse. He began to ride, not in the direction of the men, but in the direction of the town. Ginny knew that before morning, the entire town would know what had transpired that evening. Ginny dragged herself into the saloon, surveyed the mess and shook her head. She pushed her way through the splintered door and walked up the stairs to her room. Slowly she unlocked it, then locked it again after she entered it. She collapsed upon her bed. Though she was exhausted, she couldn't sleep. Her mind wouldn't let her. 


	2. She Wonders Where These Dreams Go.......

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And she wonders where these dreams go,  
'Cause the world got in her way.  
Whats the point in ever trying?  
Nothing's changing anyway.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The next day seemed to fly by. Chores didn't seem so hard nor so troublesome as they had before. It was as if the recent adventure had lightened Ginny's atmosphere, but it had also darkened it in some ways. Investigators and reporters were constantly in the saloon asking her to tell them about what had conspired. Ginny refused them all, though they offered alot of money for her to tell. She refused. "Hey Ginny. Whatcha thinkin' about?" Ginny looked up from her daze to see Prissy seated in front of her. "Hey Prissy. I ain't seen you around lately. You flew the coop last night." Ginny commented. Prissy shrugged, but to Ginny's surprise, her face was red. "I just wanted to get out." She stuttered.  
  
Ginny nodded. "So you have a nice time with Cole?" Ginny asked pointedly. "Oh he was very nice. A real gentleman." Prissy gushed. "If he was a real gentleman he wouldn't be hanging around with you now would he?" Ginny pointed out, much to Prissy's dismay. "What on earth are you saying? He was as nice as all made out!" Prissy protested. "Then how come you blabbed?" Ginny asked angrily. Prissy was stunned into silence for a moment as she stared at Ginny with her eyes wide open. "What are you implying Ginny?" Prissy asked finally. "I'm implying that you were the only one who left after my father came and told me about Pinkerton's proposition. You were in need of cash, makes me wonder if maybe you would jump for the chance of getting fifty dollars." Ginny said angrily. "Well they got away anyway didn't they?" Prissy yelled.   
  
"Yeah they did! But not without almost getting themselves killed!" Ginny yelled back. "Since when do you care about them? I thought Jesse James was none of your business." Prissy asked angrily. Ginny didn't answer as her hands felt the money in her pockets. There was over thirty dollars there, the money Jesse had "paid" her for their rooms. It would hold her out on the bills till the end of the month. How he had known how much to give her, she couldn't even guess. "What is it? You have an achin' to be courted by Jesse James?" Prissy hissed. Ginny's head shot up. "I oughta throw you outta this place and get you put in jail." She seethed. Prissy took a step backwards. "Don't do that Gin. Please. I ain't got nowhere else to go." She wheedled. Ginny shook her head. "Get out! Get out before I do something I'll regret!" She yelled. Prissy took another step backward and ran out the door. Ginny held her head in her hands, trying to hold the tears back.  
  
Days passed by, then weeks. They seemed to fly by without effort at first, but then the aching returned, the yearning for adventure, and curiously enough Ginny found herself looking at the door from time to time, as if expecting someone to walk in at any given time. When she walked outside to toss out the dirty water from cleaning the dishes, she half expected to see Jim turn around and smile at her from his place on the porch steps. Ginny shook this feeling off. She had more important things to worry about. Like her father. But he hadn't been home for more than three weeks now after leaving with a bunch of friends for a cattle range. He hadn't returned since and it was a welcome change for Ginny.  
  
It was one of those slow nights that the outlaws returned. The saloon was barely full, the last crowd taking their leave of her. Finally Ginny was all alone. She sat down behind the bar and pulled out her book that she had been aching to finish but her father had not let her finish. It was Shakespeare. Her father hated Shakespeare. He called it trash. Ginny called it art. She loved to get lost in the words and in the story. When she read it, for a brief moment she was no longer stuck in the little town, but was free. Her father didn't exist. Instead she lived the lives that the characters lived before her very eyes. As she sat there, completely wrapped up in the lives of Juliet and her Romeo, the door to the saloon swung open, blowing out one of the few lamps still lit in the room.   
  
With a sigh, Ginny set the book on the floor and stood up expectantly. It wasn't who she expected to see. She squinted in the darkness, trying to see, but as the heavy breathing and stumbling came closer to her, she knew who had arrived. It was her father's strong hand that grasped her arm, and it was her father's beer stained breath that she smelled when he pulled her to him. "You readin' that trash again?" He hissed, twisting her wrist cruely. Ginny gasped as a shock of pain ran up and down her arm. She finally gasped out a "yes" and he released the wrist. Ginny cradled it in her hand, tenderly touching it. Not now. Not when my knife wound has already healed. Ginny thought wildly as she took as step backwards. It always surprised her how fast her father was even in a drunken stupor. He snarled and jumped towards her, an object in his hand and his other hand grasping her arm once more. "I told you not to read at all!" He snarled, raising the object above her head. Ginny screamed, though she knew no one would hear, as the object came hurtling down towards her head.   
  
But she never felt it, never felt the blinding pain or the wave of unconsciousness that usually spread over her as she sank to the floor. Instead, it was her father that hit the floor, his hand falling limp at his side. The weakness in Ginny's knees gave out as she fell to the floor. Quickly another lamp was lit and the person sitting beside her emerged from the darkness to the likeness of Jim Younger. "You alright?" He whispered, taking her hand gently. She nodded, her eyes fixed on her father's still body. Cole stood above the man, lowering the butt end of his gun. "Nice smackin' him Cole. You think he'll be able to git up?" Jesse asked sarcastically. "Well he sure as hell won't be hittin' his girl anymore now will he?" Cole replied defensively. Jesse shrugged his shoulders and knelt down on the floor. "You alright?" Jim turned to Jesse. "She's fine. I already asked her." Jim said meaningfully.   
  
Jesse smiled and shook his head. "Looks like we stopped in for a visit just in time." Ginny stood up hesitantly, the ache in her stomach combining with the stabbing pain in her wrist. One of the members of the gang, an Indian, approached her, his hand extended to take her wrist. Quickly she drew it back. "Don't worry. He can take care of it. He shoulda been a Medicine Man." Jesse said, winking at the Indian. The Indian laughed good-naturedly and reached for her hand again. This time, Ginny didn't draw back, but instead let the Indian man's gentle fingers probe the spot. "It is not broken. Merely twisted." Came the diagnosis. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief. "So is the saloon still open? Or is it closed due to crazed wild men?" Cole asked, leaning up against the counter.  
  
Ginny smiled and stepped behind it. "No sir. What'll ya have?" She asked. After the men had had their drinks, Ginny spoke up thoughtfully. "You boys really shouldn't be here. Pinkerton and his men are still scouting around out here. They come in and ask me questions. What would happen if they found you here? You can't run the same plan twice." Ginny pointed out. The men shook their heads thoughtfully, but Jim spoke up reassuringly. "Don't worry. We covered our tracks good. They won't be followin' us for sure." He said easily. "Well I'm glad. I'll be right back." Ginny said, standing up and awkwardly taking the metal tub that the dirty dishes had been soaking in. Jim was on his feet in a moment, walking to her side and quickly taking the tub out of her hands. She looked at him questioningly as he blushed. "You're hurt. Lemme help." He explained uneasily. Ginny didn't reply but smiled as she followed Jim out the door. The men inside looked at each other and winked.  
  
After the tub had been emptied, Jim stepped off the porch and smiled. "C'mon. Take a walk with an outlaw fer once." He said. Ginny smiled but stopped on the final step. "I thought you said that no one kin trust outlaws." She said, lingering on the step. "You kin trust me. I won't do nothin' to you. I ain't as rough as those guys in there. Now if I'd been to war, then maybe things would be different." Jim said, accepting her arm as she stepped off the step. "How so Jim Younger?" Ginny asked, leaning against his arm. "Well, I dunno. War does things to people. It certainly did something to Cole, if not Bob too. I mean, this is drastic stuff. Robbin' banks. Sometimes I wonder, if maybe it's not worth it. But it is. I mean, how else could I be famous if I wasn't an outlaw?" Jim asked. "How else indeed?" Ginny murmured.  
  
The two walked on in silence. "Ginny do you trust me?" Jim suddenly blurted out. Ginny stopped in amazement at his sudden outburst. "Why Jim, I've only known you for a little while. How can you ask me that?" Ginny asked. "I dunno. I just want to know if you believe me when I say that I'm not a liar when I say that I'd never ever hurt you. You or anyone else. I only hurt people when I have to. Just to protect myself you understand." Jim pleaded. Ginny nodded thoughtfully. "I don't know. I've never mixed with outlaws before. I don't quite know what to say." Ginny said. "It'll be strange. I mean, it WOULD be strange, if you ever thought that, maybe, you could like me a little," Jim started. "I mean, me off robbin' banks and such, gone alot, I suppose it would be too much for someone." Jim said quickly.   
  
Ginny stopped again. "Jim what are you saying?" She whispered. Jim shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I don't even know! I really don't! I mean, it's like wishing for the moon that a girl like you would let an outlaw court you! And only after just meeting you! It's crazy!" Jim said angrily, then clapping his hand over his mouth as he realized what he had said. Ginny smiled, but then frowned, placing her head in her hands. Jim eyed her. "Whassa matter?" He asked quietly. She shook her head and pressed her hands to her head. "I cain't." She whispered. "Whaddya mean ya cain't? I ain't asked you anything yet." Jim laughed.  
  
Ginny shook her head. "You might as well be. I don't know I just, I don't know, and to an outlaw! I don't know. I just," She whispered, her voice petering out softly. Jim stood still beside her, his green eyes fixed on her intently. "Look, if you don't want me ta come any closer to you, jest say the word. I'd understand. It's me." He said reasonably. Ginny reached out and grasped his hand. "No it isn't you. It ain't because you're an outlaw. Yer more of a gentlemen than some rich folks. It ain't that. I don't know what it is I jest," Jim put his hand up. "Don't. I don't want ta make you sad over something you don't understand yourself." He said quietly, placing his hat on his head. Ginny put her hands out imploringly. "You understand don't you?" She implored. "No I don't. But that don't matter. I'm willin' ta wait and see how things turn out. Don't worry, we'll be coming back soon. If the guys don't I will, jest to make sure things are alright with yer Pa." Jim said softly, walking back towards the house.   
  
Ginny stood alone in the spot where Jim had left her. She watched him, his tall frame disappearing into the shadows of the saloon. She didn't know why she had refused love yet again. It hadn't been the first time a hopeful had professed his heart to her. It hadn't been the first time and Ginny knew it wouldn't be the last. There was a wall around her heart. A black hole standing between her and love. She couldn't think about someone else in the way that Jim did. She couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't.   
  
Ginny walked the men to their horses slowly. "Well I'm glad that you boys stopped by. I was rather disappointed in your emphatic exit. Not even a good-bye." Ginny said meaningfully. "We meant to, but we knew that Pinkerton was gonna be on our butts as soon as we went. But if it's any consolation Jimmy wanted to say good-bye." Cole said, poking Jim in the ribs. Ginny smiled at the man, who grinned back. "Thanks for the drinks. I reckon yer Pa'll be up and runnin' around, oh, next week." Cole laughed. Ginny shook her head. "You boys are an interesting crew." She said. "That's what makes us so great! Right boys?" Jesse whooped. The other men answered in another whoop just as loud as the first. Ginny's hand slowly reached out the touched the smooth velvet of the horse's hide beside her. A large, rough hand touched her hand gently. Ginny looked up into Jim's eyes. "You cain't avoid me fer long. We're too much the same ta be away fer very long. I'll git to you. I swear." Jim whispered. Slowly Ginny drew her hand back, her eyes still fixed on the outlaw as if in a trance. "Alright boys! Let's ride!" Jesse yelled, urging his horse into a gallop. The other's whooped and urged their horses on. Ginny watched as the outlaws left her life once more.  
  
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	3. Why Don't You Slide?

************************************************************************  
  
Could you whisper in my ear,  
The things you wanna feel.  
I'll give you anything,  
To feel it comin'.  
Do you wake up on your own,  
And wonder where you are?  
You live with all your faults.  
  
I wanna wake up where you are.  
I won't say anything at all.  
So why don't you slide?  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Through the next few months, Ginny bought a paper every day, relishing the stories of the outlaws' daring escapes. She always had to chuckle whenever she read that the story was supposedly sent in by Jesse James. She knew it was the truth. She didn't doubt anything anymore. The outlaws were the one part in her mixed up world, who curiously, were the only things solid. She rarely talked about them to her enemies turned "friends" who longed to know about the outlaws. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction to touch that corner of her life.   
  
Her father avoided her constantly. He didn't touch her anymore, which she was glad about certainly. But whenever he crept through a back passage to avoid even seeing her, a certain pain sounded in her heart, for though she doubted it, there was still one small hope in the back of her mind that her father would someday love her again. But how could he? How could he love her after all this time. No one loved her. But the minute she thought that, she knew that someone did love her. An outlaw, a rather plain outlaw, but with sparkling green eyes and a dazzling smile. An outlaw who'd rather die than hurt her. Who'd die for her if necessary.   
  
She didn't expect him to come that night. Let alone that night of all nights. Her father shunned her once more that day, Prissy had spoken harsh words to her other friends about Ginny, the men had hinted to her more than once that they wanted more than just whiskey. It was a day that she felt that she could take her own life if she had the courage. She was so utterly alone. Even her dreams and books didn't bring her back from her stupor. She closed her eyes, remembering, remembering her mother.   
  
And then the fairy said to her, "If you wish hard enough and you are pure of heart, you can gain whatever you wish for."  
  
  
Is that really true Mama? What did the peasant girl do?  
  
  
She wished as hard as she could.   
  
  
Did she get what she wanted? Did she get the prince? Did her mother come back to life?  
  
  
Yes darlin'. Yes. Everything happened as she wished.  
  
  
That's a wonderful story Mama! Tell it again!  
  
  
One last time. Once upon a time, there lived a poor peasant girl,  
  
  
Suddenly, without thinking, Ginny squeezed her eyes tight shut. "I wish, I wish for someone who understands. Please God. Please God." She whispered, tears sliding down her cheeks as she lifted her hands to her face. She began to sob as the world whirled around her, but even as she did a lone figure walked into the haze. "Ginny, Ginny are you alright?" Ginny opened her eyes and took her hands off her face. He stood there, his hat being twisted in his awkward hands, concern on his face. Jim Younger, an outlaw, yet a human being who knew, who understood. Ginny stared at him in shock, not registering that he was really real. "Hey Gin, I'm real. Stop lookin' at me like I'm a ghost. Yer creepin' me out." He protested.   
  
Tentatively, unbelievingly, she reached out a finger, touched his shoulder and fingered the leather coat. His green eyes flickered from the white finger to her tearstained face. Didn't speak. But just watched, unwilling to break the spell. "Yer real. Yer really real." She whispered. Finally she raised her blue eyes to his green ones. Locked, and read each other's souls. Then the tears began once more. Only this time, he was ready. Instantly, his hand was around her head, holding her comfortingly. "It's alright. It's alright. Jim Younger's here. Nothin' ain't gonna hurt ya now." He whispered in his rough drawl.  
  
Just when she felt safe, felt finally whole, she felt herself being ripped from his warm embrace as he shoved her to the floor. Gunshots rang out above her, Jim's face intense and focused. A few seconds later they stopped. She looked up at him. He glanced down and pulled her up to her feet. Then he left her, walking to the hotel doorway that connected to the saloon. He knelt down by a fallen figure, then looked up at her. "He ain't dead." He said quietly. It was then that Ginny realized that the figure was her own father. "Gin, I cain't let him keep doin' this. I've already sent a notice an' I gotta git outta here before he comes." Jim said, heading towards the door. Ginny rushed to his side and grasped his arm. "What are you talkin' about? Who's comin'?" Jim looked up at her. "The Sheriff. He'll take care of ya. Jest sent him a little tip about whats been goin' on."   
  
Ginny stared at him in shock. "You mean you only came to do that? You didn't come to stay?" She asked. "C'mon Gin. You know I cain't. I told you that last time. I jest had ta come to do that, and, and, well just seein' yer face is enough fer me Ginny." Jim said with a smile. "You comin' back Jim?" Ginny asked as she gripped the wooden porch. Jim stopped before mounting his horse. "If I know me, I'll be back. It'll take a bit convincin' Jesse and Cole, but I'll try." Then his forehead furrowed. "Gin, you wouldn't mind gittin' letters from me would ya?" He asked. Ginny's eyes widened and his did the same. "I mean, I'm awful at writin' letters! Lets jest say that I'm the damn worst writer an' 'specially love talker in the whole history of time! But hell I'll try Gin." He said quickly. Ginny chuckled and laughed quietly. "I'd love a letter from you. If you can pass the time. I'm an awful writer myself."   
  
Jim smiled a shy smile. "Well I doubt that Ginny. But thanks fer tryin' to make me feel better." He said. "What are people gonna say when they find out that I'm gittin' love letters from a notorious outlaw from the James-Younger gang?" Ginny asked coyly. At that, Jim reddened before pulling himself on the horse and setting his hat on his head. "Don't tell 'em. Jest say it's a friendly business transaction." He grinned.   
  
Ginny laughed. "You think they're gonna believe that? 'Specially after you shot my father!" She protested. "Don't tell 'em that either!" He laughed. But they both sobered at the sound of horses' hoofs sounding in the distance. "I've gotta go Ginny. They know. Don't hold back on anything." Jim said soberly. Ginny looked at him doubtfully. "Promise me Ginny. I don't wanna see you hurt. Promise me!" Jim yelled as the hoofbeats came closer. Ginny stuttered, unable to bring herself to do what he asked. "You promise Ginny Craig! Or I swear that I won't leave this spot! So help me!" He yelled. Ginny stared at him wide eyed. "Are you crazy Jim Younger? They'll hang you!" She yelled. "Its no more crazy than you holdin' back like this! Now promise me!" He yelled back stubbornly. Ginny threw her hands in the air. "I PROMISE!! Now GO!" She screamed. Jim whooped loudly and rode off, but as he left, Ginny yelled behind him, "I hate you Jim Younger! I just want you to know that! I'll hate you forever!!" She yelled. At first she didn't hear anything but the approaching hoofbeats, but then she heard the distant voice yell loudly, "Yeah right!!"  
  
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	4. You've Got a Fast Car........

************************************************************************  
You've got a fast car,  
I want a ticket to anywhere.  
Maybe we can make a deal.  
Maybe together we can get somewhere.  
Anyplace is better.  
Started from zero got nothin' to lose,  
Maybe we'll make something.  
Me myself I've got nothin' to prove.  
  
~Tracy Chapman, Fast Car  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Letters came, rarely, but they did come. Written in rough, sometimes misspelled script, they were hard to read, but worth it. Jim was much more mature than she had once taken him for. He had his own plans that he intended to follow. Someday, he often said, someday he would get enough money so that he could quit the outlaw business, settle down somewhere and just do whatever he wanted. Ginny smiled at his dreams as she read them, corresponding with her own. She told him that as soon as her father either left or died, she was going to get rid of the saloon, sell it, do anything, anything so that she could get away from that place. She would leave that town and settle down somewhere. Ginny could almost see Jim smiling in his reply when he said, "Imagine that! That the two of us could have just such similar ideas. Do you believe in fate?" It was questions like these that made Ginny question herself. She had answered him, "I'm not sure. I believe that God is behind it all and he puts everything in line. Thats sort of like fate. God is fate I suppose because he plans everything and puts it in order. So I guess I do." Jim had replied with, "You have such a way with words. That was exactly what I was thinking. Only I didn't really know how to get it out. I'm so glad that you're here."  
  
Jim had grown. Ginny had sensed it. Gradually, as the months passed. His ideas became more solemn, more thought out, more decisive. But in many ways he was still a boy. Sometimes his words didn't even seem like they were characteristic of Jim, they were so dramatic and descriptive. Words like, "these bonds of love that hold me close" and "your eyes, like sapphires, shining bright, a lone star worthy of shining in the heavens." Ginny smiled as she read them, but at the same time they puzzled her. She replied to the letter, asking him if he truly wrote them. A few months later, the reply came, a bashful reply.   
  
Dear Ginny,  
  
I got a confession to make. I am not completly writing these letters. The truth is, Frank, my cousin, he's helping me. Jesse too, although he's not nearly so flowery as Frank. Frank's got lotsa good words and I like them, so I use them. I hope that you are not mad at me. I would be more mad at me if I was you. So how are things with your Pa? I hope that he hasn't touched you, because if he has, I swear this time I'll kill him instead of knocking him out. I'm not sure when we're coming back. Maybe soon, maybe later. Jesse is trying to work things out so that we at least get close to you, but I don't know. He's trying pretty hard to convince Cole, but Cole is adamant. That means he doesn't want to go. Frank told me that. Its an interesting word. A little confusing and kinda stupid when you could just say, 'he doesn't want to go', but I'm working on it. How are you? Are you well? I hope so. I'll try and get back. I don't know when. Still robbing banks as usual. Do the papers where you are publish Jesse's articles? I hope so, just so that you can keep track as to where we are and such. I suppose I had better close this letter. Frank said that if I use that phrase it would sound better. More sophisticated he says. I don't like that word. Its too long and ornery. I'd rather just say that I've gotta go. Frank says for me to 'stop interjecting my comments'. I personally think that he's trying to take over my letter. It's my letter and I'll say what I want! I can't always write that flowery stuff, but do you like it? If you do, I'll ask him to write more things for me, but otherwise, I think I'll leave Frank out of it when I write letters to you. I hope to see you soon.   
  
Jim Younger  
  
Ginny smiled as she read the letter. She was glad that she was right in her assumption that the words were not Jim's own. She sat down immediately behind the bar and though the place was full, she managed to reply.  
  
Dear Jim,  
  
I'm glad that you told me the truth. Once you said that people never trust outlaws. I trust you because you tell me the truth. Consider yourself trustworthy in my opinion. I like all that flowery talk, but I don't like it at the same time. Whenever I read it, it makes me happy, but at the same time I know that its not you talking, but someone else. I'd much rather if you write the letters yourself. I like hearing from you. My Pa has pretty much left my company. He plans to move on. Go to Texas or some strange thing. He said that two months ago and he hasn't moved an inch, so I don't know what to think. I hope that you can get closer to me. I want to see you all and see how you are, especially you. I get every paper I can and read Jesse's articles. They are amazing! You all are so brave. I'm very happy for you in all your successes. Tell Jesse thank you for the money he's been sending me through messengers. Its greatly appreciated. I mean, I'm glad he sends it too me. Pinkerton hasn't been snooping around here often, but his detectives come often enough. It's ornery the way they just 'pop' in for a visit and then get on the subject of you boys. I wish they'd just go away and leave me be. Things are going well here. Well as can be expected I suppose. I can't wait to see you. I hope you can come soon. I'll enjoy hearing all your stories.   
  
Ginny Craig  
  
Ginny smiled and was just about to fold the letter when it was suddenly snatched from the bar. Ginny protested and grasped air, then stared as she saw Prissy reading the letter. She grasped for it, but Prissy held it just out of her reach. Prissy's eyes widened as she read the letter, then she eyed Ginny. "Jim? Jesse? Robbin' banks? This sounds an awful like the Jim from the James-Younger gang." Ginny snatched the letter out of Prissy's hands and stuck it in her apron pocket. Prissy stared at her, her eyes slightly narrowed. "So, I cain't like Cole, but you can like 'em huh? Sounds like you're best buddies with 'em." Prissy said accusingly. "I owe it to 'em. They did me a favor." Ginny said softly, her eyes downcast and her fists clenched. "Yeah? What did they do for you? What did the James-Younger gang ever do for you?" As Prissy spoke, her voice escalated into a shriek. Jake almost stopped playing the piano alltogether as he turned to look at who was causing the racket. Ginny stared grimly at the girl as she screamed, but her eyes widened as she looked at the crowd behind her.   
  
Her father, along with all his friends stood behind them, her father's eyes wide and wild. He took a step forward and pushed Prissy from the bar, grabbing Ginny's hand. "Where is it?" He hissed. "What are you talkin' about Pa?" Ginny stammered, trying to shove herself away. "The letters? Lemme see 'em!" He yelled. Instinctively, Ginny put her hand over her apron pocket, where she kept all of Jim's letters when they came. Her father scratched at her hand, making her move it as she grasped it to her in pain. Her father grasped the letters that lay in the pocket and tore one open. He read it, then threw it to the floor, picking up another one. He read through Jim's second letter, then his eyes became more fierce and more crazy. He clenched the paper in his fist and threw it to the ground. Ginny had a good idea what he had read. Most likely the section about Jim killing him rather than knocking him out.   
  
Ginny shrank back against the counter, just barely keeping out of reach of her father's fingers. But when he began to climb the counter, Ginny rushed away, even as he attempted to straddle the bar. The people in the bar began to laugh at the competition taking place between the two, Ginny's father, trying desperately to get his hands on her, Ginny, just managing to keep out of his reach. But finally, his rough hands got hold of her arm, his fingernails ripping the tender skin as he pulled her to him. As he drew her closer angrily, Ginny summoned up all the courage in her body and slapped him hard. Mark Craig fell backwards, releasing Ginny's hand. As he tried to get up, Ginny put her foot down hard on his stomach, making him groan in pain. "Git off of me Gin, I didn't mean nothin'."  
  
But Ginny still saw the angry gleam that echoed in his eyes. Instead of giving in to his request, she pushed down on him farther. "I want you to go. Leave this place and leave me alone." She whispered cooly. For the first time, her father seemed to understand and seemed to have fear in his eyes. He shook his head quickly. "You'll do it now, and you'll never come back, that is not until you can hold your temper and drink right." Ginny hissed. He nodded again and she let him up. Instantly, he jumped to his feet and made towards the hotel door. But before he did, he looked at Ginny spitefully and took a small glass of whiskey, pouring it all over the letters that lay on the floor. Ginny fell to the floor as her father rushed upstairs. She carefully picked up the beer-soaked letters and placed them in her pocket. There was nothing to do but let them dry that way.  
  
Less than fifteen minutes later, her father came back down the stairs, only now he was laden down with supplies. He glared at her, then stomped out the door, out of the saloon to the barn where his horse rested. Ginny could hardly believe her eyes. She had no belief that he would listen to her, but he had. He truly had. He was leaving. The very idea was strange to her. Never again would she have to worry about running to the doctor with a silly story about how she cut herself on accident or had run into a door. Never again. She could get on with her life. As she thought these wonderful thoughts, more good new came to her. A newspaper sitting on the counter caught her eye. An article stuck out of it like a sore thumb and Ginny grasped it. The headline read: JAMES-YOUNGER GANG ROBBES BANK ONLY TWENTY MILES AWAY! Then Ginny grinned as she read the article, then almost laughed with joy as she came to the realization that she would most likely see Jim that evening. She barely noticed that Prissy was still there, still watching her. 


	5. "After Hyperion, My Life Begins...."

************************************************************************  
You've got a fast car.  
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?  
We've gotta make a decision.  
Leave tonight or live and die this way.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
That evening after everyone had left, Ginny left a light in the window. She sat down and waited. The minutes ticked by, the hours passed. Midnight loomed upon her and still there was no sign of any of the outlaws. Finally, Ginny fell fast asleep in the wooden rocking chair her father had made for her mother in olden days gone by. That was how Jim found her. Sitting alone in an empty bar, her chin dropping on her shoulder, her ruddy curls falling over her face, long black eyelashes cast down on her white face. He smiled gently and took a few gentle steps inside. She didn't stir.   
  
He walked until he was standing right in front of her. Ginny was right in her assumptions. Jim had grown. His thoughts had grown from boyhood to manhood. He no longer saw her as simply a pretty girl, but a woman, a woman who he thought could love him as he did her. He knew he had to take a chance, simply to see, to see if she felt the same way he did. He leaned down and gently planted a kiss on her forehead. Ginny started, and her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness till she saw the tall figure standing in front of her. Ginny jumped to her feet happily and grasped his hands. "I'm so glad you came! I saw the paper and I only hoped that it would be true." She whispered.   
  
Jim grinned as he looked at her. "Yer mighty happy ain't ya? I think there's somethin' else behind this thats makin' ya so happy." Ginny laughed loudly, startling Jim. In all the time he had known her, he had never once heard her laugh like that, with true laughter. "My father is gone! Left today! I did it! I did what you told me to do! I stood up to him with all the courage in my body an' I did it! I did it Jim!" She whispered excitedly. Jim shook his head and smiled. "What?" Ginny asked. "You are one hell of a woman." He murmured as he gazed at her. Ginny smiled and put her hand on his face gently. "Don't swear." She whispered. In that moment, they both changed, both matured in different ways. They realized what was happening. They realized what they had been missing in their lives. Each other. They needed each other's company, each other's thoughts, each other's strength.  
  
"Jim, I don't care if yer an outlaw. I wanna go with you this time." Ginny whispered. Jim looked at her. He had anticipated this, and he had puzzled over it, but he still didn't have an answer for her. "How? I mean, we're on the move all the time. Its too dangerous for a girl like you. I cain't ask you to do that for me. No girl could love a guy that much." Jim whispered doubtfully. "I can. I've been through more hell than you can imagine with my Pa. An' now he's gone. I don't have nothin' here. If you won't let me go with you, then I'll stay put somewhere else an' wait for you. But I will wait for you." Ginny whispered, strength pushing her words. Jim was silent for a moment before answering. "I love you Ginny. I think we kin work this out." Ginny's face lit up as Jim sat down in the chair across from her, his hands clasped in front of him, his eyes intense as he thought.  
  
"Can you wait till after one more job we pull?" He asked, looking up at her. Ginny cocked her head. "We got one more job to do, then we're goin' back to Liberty. I can come git you an' we'll go back there. We can start a new life there, you an' me. I can ride a little bit more with the boys an' then I'll have enough money to make a real livin'. Then I'll quit an' git a job up there in Liberty. It's so easy Gin. It'll work." He said with excitement. "Where's the place you're goin'? Is it far?" Ginny asked. "Not really. Goin' to Hyperion. Just gonna rob the bank there an' then split. I'll split up with the boys an' come an' git you. Then we'll meet up with the rest of the gang in Liberty." Jim said knowingly. Ginny sat back in her chair. I can't believe that this is happening to me. I mean, it seems like its too good to be true. Like everything bad has been washed away and everything I've ever wanted is happening right now. I can't help but expect something else bad to happen." She murmured quietly. "Nothin' else bad is gonna happen. I promise." Jim said, placing his hand on hers.   
  
"You done YET Jim? We gotta head out." The indignant voice sounded from the outside of the doorway. Ginny frowned and looked out, while Jim rolled his eyes. "Cain't you jest hold yourself together for a few minutes Cole? Damn! A guy cain't even talk to his girl without interruptions." Jim said, impatience leaking out of his words. Bob stuck his head around the swinging doors with a grin. "So is she really yer girl now?" He asked. Jim would have frowned had Bob's face not been so hopeful. He sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, I guess so. She said she'd wait fer me." He said. Instantly, cheers broke out on the other side of the door and Jesse's face appeared. "I told you she would! I told you." He said excitedly before Bob pushed him out of the way. "Hey, leave off! He's my brother! Let me do the congratulatin'. Good job little Jim!" He yelled before Cole shoved in front of him.   
  
His face was sober as he walked up to Jim, and Jim's face equally so. Cole stood in front of him for a time before speaking. "So, you really plan on gittin' together after we do this job?" He asked quietly, looking at Ginny then at Jim, then back to Ginny. "Yeah." Jim replied quickly. "I was askin' Ginny, Jim." Cole said, eyeing his brother. Jim folded his arms over his chest but said nothing. "So, do ya?" Cole asked, eyeing Ginny. "Yeah. I intend to wait." She said. "Don't intend to run off with any other guy?" Cole asked, prodding. "Who would she run off with? Who's better than Jimmy Younger?" Bob yelled angrily. "Shut up Bob! I'm asking her. Now, whats your answer?" Cole asked, turning back to Ginny. "I agree with Bob. Who else would I run off with? Nobody. I intend to wait for Jim as long as I have to." Ginny said confidently. "Now see, what'd I tell you Cole! She really does like him!" Bob said happily. Cole turned around to Bob, shot him a look, then turned back to Ginny. "Well if you don't intend to do somethin' stupid an' run off on Jim, an' you intend to wait, I say that yer good enough fer Jim." Cole said. Ginny grinned and nodded. "Well thats all well an' good, 'specially since I woulda settled with Jim even without yer consent." Ginny said.  
  
Cole raised his eyebrows and took a step forward. Ginny faltered, but didn't step backwards, instead, stared right at Cole. "Yer sassy. Good. You got spirit. You won't be leavin' Jim anytime soon." Cole said, finally breaking into a smile. Ginny returned it and Jim breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry to break this up. We gotta git to Hyperion." Frank said, breaking into the happy mood. As the others retreated out the door, Jim turned to Ginny. "I got a letter in my pocket, all ready to send. I jest hafta send it." He said with a smile. "But by the time I get it, we'll be in Liberty." Ginny chuckled. "Yeah. But see, I was gonna send it before, but I decided to wait. It has some things in it that I wanted to talk to you about first. So maybe I'll just give it to you when we get home." Jim said, a blush rising on his cheeks. "Home. I can't wait to get home." Ginny whispered. "While we're young Jimmy!" Cole yelled from outside. Jim sighed and turned to walk away, then stopped and turned. Quickly he kissed her gently on the lips and smiled. "Couldn't leave without doing that just once." He whispered before tipping his hat and running out the door. Ginny went to the window and watched as the outlaws sped off into the darkness. "After Hyperion. After Hyperion, my life truly starts. After Hyperion." She whispered, her hand touching her lips where Jim had kissed her but a moment before. 


	6. Angels Fall Without You There........

************************************************************************  
  
Comin' down the world turned over.  
And angels fall without you there.  
And I go on as you get colder.  
Or are you someone's prayer?  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Ginny opened her eyes as the sounds of horses hooves invaded her mind's thoughts. She moved aside the curtains of her room and saw a horse ride up, it's rider tying him to the post outside before standing there for a time. Ginny squinted and finally recognized the figure. She smiled happily, looking at her half packed trunk still on the floor with all her personal belongings in it. She shrugged and ran down the stairs, just as Jesse James knocked on the outside door. Ginny flung open the door and smiled broadly at the outlaw, drawing him inside. "Come on in Jesse! Come in. You kin have a drink if you want. I'm just packing some things." Ginny bubbled as Jesse stepped into the room. Jesse stepped in awkwardly and smiled, but didn't say anything. Ginny took a double take as she realized that Jesse was alone. Rarely did Jesse travel alone, not even the gang was with him. There was no one. To Ginny surprise and bewilderment, there was pain behind Jesse's gaze as he twisted his hat awkwardly in his fingers.  
  
"Why are you here Jess? Where is everyone? Isn't Jim gonna come pick me up?" Ginny asked, cocking her head slightly. Jesse cleared his throat several times, but could say nothing. His face was pained as he tried to speak. Ginny stood still, waiting, her forehead becoming furrowed as she watched Jesse try to speak. "What is it Jesse?" She finally whispered. "It's about Jim." Jesse managed to get out. Ginny raised her eyebrows. "He doesn't wanna bring me back yet? He doesn't like me anymore, what? Tell me Jesse." She said earnestly, her hand squeezing Jesse's. "Jim died just outta Hyperion." Jesse finally said, locking his brown eyes on Ginny.   
  
Ginny took a step backward, her face blanche. "There was nothin' in the safe an' we all barely got out with our necks intact. Jim was towards the back. We thought we'd took out all the snipeshooters, but," Jesse stopped, his voice becoming weak. "But you didn't." Ginny finished, her eyes narrowing. "Why weren't you watching him? Why Jesse?" She asked, her voice suddenly angry. "I don't know. I thought he was clear." Jesse stammered. "But he wasn't. Tell me, did you even look? Did you? You or even Cole?" Jesse couldn't speak, he could only stare. "You didn't. He was only a boy Jesse. Why in the world was he even riding with you? He was only a boy! He was just a little boy riding with a bunch of outlaws. Just a boy." Ginny murmured before sinking into a chair and placing her hands over her eyes. "I'm sorry Jess. Its not your fault. You had no idea it was gonna happen. I'm so sorry." She whispered through the sobs that broke out.   
  
Jesse sighed shakily and pulled a chair up across from her. "Jim died a hero. He held off the men as best he could from behind a water trough. Even though he was surrounded. He didn't let anyone get through to him or Bob or any of us. He was brave." Jesse whispered, taking Ginny's hands. Ginny looked up at him. "He's still dead Jesse." Ginny murmured before standing. "Where's Cole? Why didn't he or Bob come to tell me? Jim's their brother, not yours." Ginny said, frowning. "They didn't want to come. Cole didn't think it was his duty." Jesse said quietly. "He didn't think it was his duty? What, he makes sure that I won't run off with anyone else, and then I'm not affected by Jim's death? Is that it?" Ginny asked angrily. Jesse shook his head. "Well I'm glad you came and told me." She murmured.  
  
"They're gonna bury him on their farm in Liberty. I mean, just in case you wanna come up sometime an', you know, see him." Jesse said. Ginny smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I figured. Did he die well? An' I want you to tell me the truth Jesse. None of that cockamamy crap that you tell. No lies." Ginny said firmly. "You want the dead honest truth?" Jesse asked. Ginny nodded and sat down. "Alright. No lies. Jim got out from behind the trough safe with Bob an' they both got on their horses alright. But just as we were riding out, they shot Jim in the back." Jesse paused, remembering Jim's constricted face. "We took him out in the woods. We were gonna try to git him back, but we couldn't. He died a little bit after that." Jesse finished. "He didn't say anything about me did he?" Ginny whispered. "No, but Cole found this on him."   
  
Jesse pulled a tattered envelope out of his pocket, handing it to her. Jesse tried to pull it back even as he handed it to her. He hadn't looked at it once when Cole had handed it to him. He was too frustrated with his cousin to care. But now that he saw it, he saw that it was spattered with blood, a small round hole through the middle of it. Ginny drew in her breath quickly as she grasped it from Jesse. She fingered it gently and held it in her palm. Jesse watched her, waiting for the tears to come. But they didn't come. They lingered in her eyes, but none of them fell. Ginny put the envelope in her pocket and took a deep breath. "You wanna drink before you go?" She asked. Jesse shook his head and stood. "No, better not. I need to git back to Liberty to see a friend of mine." He said, taking her hand in his as he stood. "Thank you Jesse James. I hope someday our paths will cross again." Ginny said with a smile as she shook his hand. Jesse smiled and placed his hat on his head. "You're welcome, but you better watch what you wish for. It might come true." He said, walking out of the bar, untying his horse and riding off, tipping his hat as he left. Ginny smiled and waved, then stepped back into the bar. She placed the envelope on the bar counter and stared at it. She wanted to read it, but didn't. She wanted to know what he had thought, but didn't. But her former thoughts caught up with her and she grasped the envelope.  
  
She carefully opened it, trying to avoid ripping it. Some of the blood had seeped through the envelope onto the letter, the bullet hole was at the very top and had not cut off any of the words. Ginny took a deep breath and began to read.  
  
  
Dear Ginny,  
  
By the time I finally get up the courage to give this to you, maybe you'll have already said yes to what I was going to ask and we'll be in Liberty. But I don't know. If your answer is no, I can fully understand. I'm not exactly the sort of guy a girl would want. But I can change. I know it. I'll do it. Just say the word and I will. I suppose I better tell you what I'm even talking about. Everything sort of started that day when you brought me coffee for my stupidity in drinking whiskey, which I haven't drunk since. I thought that you were so considerate and sweet, but really sad. I still saw that, and I wanted to help in any way I could. Although it was kinda hard because I was an outlaw and you were respectable. Moreso than some folks. But when you walked with me one of those nights later, I realized that maybe, if you could take a risk like that and believe that you wouldn't be hurt, maybe you could take a risk with me. Being with an outlaw is taking risks, I know that. But you were and still are stronger than you think you are. You are a very strong person. I've seen it. Throughout all these letters, I've noticed a change in you. You're more confident, more sure of yourself. Thats what I hoped would happen. I hoped that would happen so it could prepare you for what I would ask you. Are you willing to take a few more risks? I think we could make it work Ginny, you and me. But if it doesn't, we can still be friends I suppose. But I don't think it'll turn out that way. You're the only girl I've ever really felt for. I hope I'm the only one you've ever felt for too, but if thats not true, I can live with that. Just so you feel for me now. Ginny, think about what I'm asking. I know you know what I'm asking. You always do. You can puzzle out what I think even better than I can. Remember though, if things don't work out, or if things go rough, just remember that I'll be back, sometime down the road. And if something should happen to me, you know, being in this dangerous business, I want you to know that I love you. There, I got it out. Finally. I'm such a coward. I'm a famous outlaw, yet I can't even say three little words, even for your sake. So remember that please. Please remember that. And remember me. Please remember me.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Jim Younger  
  
P.S. I wrote most of this letter with only a little bit of help from Frank. I only asked his advice on better words to use. Aren't you proud?   
  
  
Ginny couldn't even speak. She held the envelope and letter in her hands and walked up the stairs to her room. When she walked in, she suddenly noticed the utter silence that surrounded her. She looked around her disheveled room, then at the trunk on the bed, its contents strewn everywhere. The unshed tears in her eyes began to flow then as she sat down on her bed, the letter gripped in her fingers, tears slipping down her cheeks. 


	7. I'll Become What You Became To Me..........

************************************************************************  
Comin' down the years turned over.  
And angels fall without you there.  
And I'll go on to bring you home.  
All because I'm,  
All because I'm,  
And I'll become,  
What you became to me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The noises from downstairs drifted up from the downstairs. The sounds of drunkeness, yells, laughter, screams. They were all crowding in her head, crowding in, trying to find a place, trying to get her to listen. But she sat there, alone on her bed, her eyes staring into space. A bloody envelope was in one hand, a gun in the other. Her fingers grasped the envelope as if trying to hang on, trying to grasp what she had lost. The cool metal was heavy in her palm. Her fingers groped for the trigger, felt it, then slipped away. They crept back, then slipped away. Finally she breathed deep, lifted it, placed the barrel to her head, closed her eyes.   
  
  
This is how its gonna end. I'm gonna die just the way I deserve. Nothing. I was nothing in my life an' I'm gonna die a nothing. No one will even care. I'm comin' Jim. I'm comin'.   
  
  
Her thoughts echoed through her head as her finger tried to pull the trigger. But suddenly, the slip of metal became hard to push, it was too hard of an action to perform. Sweat began to slip down her face, her fingers slipped and slid on the metal.  
  
  
Remember though, if things don't work out, or if things go rough, just remember that I'll be back, sometime down the road. And if something should happen to me, you know, being in this dangerous business, I want you to know that I love you.   
  
  
Ginny's eyes widened, her finger slipped from the trigger as the words echoed in her mind. The gun dropped half a centimeter before she pushed it back into her hair, determination sketched on her young face.  
  
  
So remember that please. Please remember that. And remember me. Please remember me.  
  
  
Ginny's lip began to tremble, her hand moved slightly, then dropped to her lap, the pistol uncocked. She placed her hands on her head, the headache that had been there formerly, receding.   
  
  
Jim wouldn't want me to do this. He said I was strong. If I kill myself, I ain't that at all. He would want me to live, to live out my life as it has been given to me. I'll die when its time, but not now. Not today.   
  
  
Ginny took a deep breath and stood, her face giving out a warm glow. She sat down at the little dressing table at her side and scribbled out something, placing it in her hand and walking down the stairs.   
  
The sounds that had formerly been driving her crazy, were nothing now. She walked straight over to Jake, his back hunched as he played excitedly, his fingers curled over the chipped keys. She stood at his side till he noticed her presence. He stopped and looked up at her expectantly. She smiled, took his hand, and placed the piece of paper in it. Jake frowned, then read the paper, his eyes widening. "You cain't give me this." He whispered. "Yeah I kin. Its my establishment an' I kin give it to whoever I please." She replied with a smile. "But to give me the whole saloon. I don't know, I mean, what about you?" Jake said in astonisment. "I plan to head out. I don't know what you're gonna do with it, but you're the new owner. Now you've got a life to live. Live it well." She said, kissing him gently on the cheek, even as he stared at the slip of paper in his hands.   
  
Ginny walked upstairs, taking in the memory of the place. She stepped into her room, took the packed valise on her bed, and stood, looking around the room. She grasped the letters from Jim that lay on the dressing table, then gently picked up the stained envelope with it's equally stained letter, placing it in her jacket pocket. She slipped on a coat, all the while her eyes taking in the room. It was all she had had, now it wasn't hers anymore. Ginny took a firm grip on the valise and walked down the stairs and out the door, ignoring Prissy's inquiries. She walked outside in the dusty heat, her head held high. Where would she go? What would she do? Ginny ignored these thoughts.   
  
I don't know whats headed down the road for me, but I do know that I kin do something. I kin do anything I want if I jest try. I've got money in my pocket, letters filled with advice, my love for Jim, and memories to last a lifetime. Plus, I know I'll see him again. He promised. We'll meet again, I know it. And thats enough for me.   
  
************************************************************************  
  
Dreams never end like you want them to,  
Endings are never fairy tales.  
Friends always turn their backs on you.  
All I wanted was somebody who cares.  
~Z.H.  
************************************************************************ 


End file.
